Vegan life can be tough. Take takeout, for example. Until recently, my options were pretty limited—especially here in NL, the land of meat and cheese. Think pizza without mozzarella, greasy vegetable curries and the occasional trip to the dodgy Indonesian for a pile of reheated tofu, rice and soggy veg (Ima take a rain check on that spicy egg, but thanks).
This all amounted to me cooking my meals from scratch every single night, like an actual peasant.
But thanks to human technological progress, on-demand restaurant delivery apps mean that I can replace my stove-slaving with sofa-savoring… and now you too can order vibrant vegan food every night of the week using my app of choice, Uber Eats, with my handy guide below.
Motivational-getmesomecarbs-Monday: Salsa Shop
Let’s not kid yourself: you may have a fitspo quote as your iPhone background and a whole pinterest board of ‘Strong Not Skinny’ #girlswhosquat, but Monday is struggle enough without punishing yourself with salad for dinner; so we’re going to meet halfway on the health-front.
That’s where Salsa Shop comes in. Legitimately Amsterdam’s finest, spiciest 10 Euro vegan meal in a box, delivered in under 20mins.
Go for the burrito bowl with black beans, rice, veggies, pico de gallo, extra guac, roasted corn, skip the cheese and sour cream, add the (token) lettuce and top it off with chili peach habanero salsa (or pineapple chipotle if you like your spice) and you honestly can’t go wrong. You got dem good fats, dat good protein and enough carbs to make your belly full and happy like it damn-well should. Vegan, Gluten free and MacrobioticAF… Kayla Itsines, eat your heart out.
Turn up Tuesdays with SLA
You made it to spin class to sweat out all that salsa. You grit your teeth while pedalling furiously to an awful EDM soundtrack and winced every time the instructor shrieked “okay riders, give me everything you’ve got!” through her headset. You returned the obligatory high-five on exit, feeling dazed and confused as to whether you just participated in an hour of exercise or stumbled into a lesser-known nightclub with an aircon system fail. Whatever, nothing is going to sabotage your good intentions now, it’s time to turn it up a notch with some proper Healthy Shizzle.
Over to SLA. SLA got the salad goin’ up… on a Tuesday. To whom this Drake reference is wasted, I apologise. A good half of the menu items is vegantastic, or you can go off piste and make the bespoke salad of your wildest fantasies.
I’m not going to tell you how to live your life, but I am a big fan of the sweet potato and sesame falafel, with oak leaf lettuce, tamari dressing, black rice, turmeric-garam-masala cauliflower, roasted butternut & pumpkin, steamed broccoli and spicy mango chutney topped off with coriander and roasted chickpeas.
But really, you do you. A quick word on the desserts. Yes they are vegan and gluten free and delicious but the cost-per-bite is pretty high and you wouldn’t want to undo all your good work from this evening, would you? Instead, add a pot of their delicious hummus to your order and you can enjoy for the rest of the week. Tuesday well and truly turned.
Temarkery Wednesdays #DidItForTheKimchi
What do you mean it’s only Wednesday? The glorious memories you made last weekend are long gone and only your smashed-up iPhone screen lives to tell the tale. Lucky that it’s still functioning just enough to be able to navigate the Eats app (phone calls are overrated anyway) because you’re stuck in the office up against a deadline and need a poké bowl full of vitamins to get you through.
“Tried one poké bowl, tried ‘em all,” I hear you say. Rice, veggies, tofu–can’t we just get the fuck over the poké thing already? No, mate we can’t because Temakery just knocks it outta the Vondelpark, and let me tell you why.
Firstly, they offer a range of bases from rice, to salad leaves and quinoa. You can even chose half and half, for those days when you can’t quite decide. Half-quinoa, half-leaves is my base of choice, in case you’re asking.
Next, the toppings are on point. I usually have some combo of mango, sweet potato, cucumber, tofu, avocado and carrot with hot sauce and crunchy sesame seeds topping. I agree that by this point there is nothing especially out-of-this world–a solid poké bowl nonetheless. B+.
Here’s where it gets interesting. You can also order sushi handrolls, which are friggin great enough… but wait. The menu has a secret weapon, crouching nonchalantly in the sidelines. Temakery’s homemade Kimchi will kick-jump-punch your mouth into a new level of awesomeness. Zingy garlic & ginger swirls amongst umami-basked carrot, chinese cabbage & spring onion. I challenge you to not eat the whole bucket (which is definitely not a single serving) in one go. Thank me later.
Thursday: Mastino Pizza
Like all classic heroes, Uber Eats has a tragic flaw: it lacks good vegan pizza. And if there’s one thing you need in your life on a Thursday, it is vegan pizza.
So we’re going to cheat and use Deliveroo, which is a plenty fine on-demand restaurant service but let down somewhat by a 15 EUR minimum basket size #SinglePersonProblems.
Pizza from Mastino is gluten-free and vegan, and the owner is the real deal – a passionate South Italian who has poured his heart into making his own vegan mozzarella, vegan parmigiano and vegan brie, perfecting the melting situation and finessing gluten-free flour blends so the dough is soft and well-risen, and genuinely gives its wheatier cousin a run for its money.
There are a surprising amount of options on the menu here. I’ve only tried the Full Moon–tomato sauce, vegan cheese, vegan pesto, rocket, pine nuts & garlic. And… it. was. lit.
Vegan Junk Food Bar Fridays
You said you weren’t going to show your face at the work happy hour, but Bad Influence Sally (we all know that colleague) persuaded you to “just come for one” and now you’re half cut, flying through the Vondelpark on your bike (don’t drink and cycle, people), cursing at Sally and fantasising about inhaling some kind of dirty goodness the second you get home.
There is only one saviour for you in this moment of need, my friend, and that is Vegan Junk Food Bar.
Do not get it twisted; VJFB is on it’s freaking A-game even when you’re a sober, more boring version of yourself. But when you’re intoxicated it just feels like Jesus resurrected himself for the sole purpose of hand delivering everything you wanted in life, and then some.
For this particular occasion, I highly recommend the plant-powered beef burger. It comes loaded with lashings of cheddar, special VJFB sauce, crispy onions & lettuce. Or if you dare, The Notorious Sumo Burger is the aforementioned TIMES TWO, with onion rings thrown in for good measure. Meanwhile, the crunchy seaweed sandwich is hugely underrated and it a thousand times tastier than it sounds, kind of like a chicken burger but better. The fries are also very special: triple-fried and topped with a melange of spring onions, crispy onions, sesame seeds and jalapenos.
Inhale it all ASAP and float away into a heavenly, boozy, plant-based coma which promises to erase all your sins. Cruelty-free never tasted so good; Vegan junk food is the one.
Saturday: Juice Brothers and ROOTS
You blacked out after drunkenly binge-Netflixing an entire series of Modern Family last night, and you managed to out-sleep any ill effects from last night’s never-ending Basic Bitch rose. Encouraged by the realisation that you gamed your hangover (1-0 to you) and the faint glimmer of sunlight peeking through your curtains, you make a firm resolve to seize the day.
But you can’t possibly do any day-seizing without some raw, organic cold-pressed Juice. Tap, tap, boom! The Juice Brothers are on their way. (Well actually it’s Marwan on an UberScooter, the Juice Brothers were otherwise engaged).
I have two favourite Juice Brothers juices, although one is a lot healthier than the other… Blood Moon is a delectable combination of orange, pineapple, apple, beet with a twist of cardamom; while Vanilla Sky is a salted caramel mylk made from raw almond milk, coconut blossom sugar, vanilla powder and Himalayan salt.
Of course, you can’t only survive on juice today, so ROOTS is also on hand for some nourishing grub to power your day of productivity. Highlights of the mostly vegan, all-organic menu include gourmet sweet potato & roasted beet burgers adorned with vegan pesto, wholewheat veggie wraps, and heat-at-home chickpea curry. They also have a number of sugarfree and raw desserts like salted caramel bliss balls in case you want a tiny guilt-free indulgence to help fuel your holier-than-thou vibe you got going on today.
Sunday brunch: Koala Republic & Kokkes Avondverkoop
There’s nothing like cocooning yourself in blankets on a Sunday morning while the rain pitter-patters outside and your sexy partner lovingly prepares your breakfast in bed. Okay, I imagine that’s the case since I’m forever alone and this scenario exists only in my head, and in real life, I pretty much LOVE the fact I wake up with a whole king-size bed to myself. I digress.
Regardless of your marital status, brunch in bed is where it’s at and is even sweeter when your only involvement is answering the door to get handed the brown paper bag of happiness.
Koala Republic is one of those city hotspots with rustic wood and impressive coffee machines serving all kinds of brunch delights, but luckily you don’t need to craft your bed-hair into a messy bun, apply mascara or search for your best-checked shirt to get a piece of that hipster action.
Now for my real vegans reading (you rule), please be aware that Koala Republic offer some vegan options but there are also a few delicious-looking pancakes and waffles on the menu that aren’t vegan so brace yourself and stay strong! Still, acai bowls loaded with superfoods, fancy granola concoctions, falafel waffles and avocado-on-toast are still very much in scope so don’t despair! Of course if you have an omnivore partner, they can order the aforementioned waffles or shakshuka eggs, and if you have a bite to taste nobody needs to know. Smoothies, fresh juice or iced hibiscus tea will keep you hydrated and prolong your stay at your new quilted residence. Lennon & Yoko had the right idea #AmIRight.
My final Sunday tip is for Sunday evening, when you have the blues and need a little hit of something sweet to take the edge off the fact Monday is looming: there is a night shop on Uber Eats called Kokkes Avondverkoop and they stock Professor Grunschnabel, aka THE BEST gourmet vegan ice cream I’ve ever tasted. To give you a few examples of the flavours, Cafe al Khalib (aribaca coffee beans, bourbon vanilla & cardamom), Jasmine Orange Yuzu (Japanese citrus Yuzu, jasmine tea, coconut milk and orange juice) and Indian Winter (coconut milk, fresh ginger root, cardamom, fresh cloves, nutmeg). They are all just divine and you can tell from each bite just how much love has gone into perfecting these recipes!
Tuck in while watching some Netflix and thank the God of apps (the App Store?) that so much wonderful vegan food can be transported to you in just a few taps!
So there you have it. Vegan food via Uber Eats for every day of the week (if you so please), so you can always eat vibrant, health-giving grub. What a time to be alive!